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Humorous Cheap Insurance Quotes

 

Auto Insurance Quotes

A customer’s quote on Elephant Elephant.co.uk is a U.K. based insurance company that has been in the financial business since 6 years.

     

 

     

Consistently Keeping One Trunk Ahead Of The Rest!

I've spent many a spare five minutes logging into the elephant website and running quotes for many different cars for myself. I'm a bit of a dreamer and am always curious as to how much a new car of a certain type would cost me to insure. The elephant website is so easy to use that 99% of the time, I can grab a quote in a matter of minutes. I've been using Elephant.co.uk for the last 2-3 years now. I laughed when I first saw the cheesy advert and I didn't really think much more of it, until it came to the dreaded car insurance renewal time. I don't know if you are like me, but I cannot stand just letting a company throw a new quote at me and just accepting that price. I absolutely must shop around for a better deal and I did and up popped Elephant.co.uk, with its simple website layout.

As I mentioned before, the online quote function is fantastic. You get asked the standard questions such as "is the car kept in your palace with seven golden arches?" (ok, they don't really ask that), but I'm sure you're aware of the kind of questions. They aren't very taxing! Once you've filled in all the questions and obtained your quote, there are a multitude of extra options you can choose such as breakdown cover, windscreen cover etc. All very useful...maybe. Personally, I have separate breakdown and windscreen cover, but the prices they quote are certainly very competitive. Elephant.co.uk has a great choice in payment options too. They have a 10 month bonus accelerator scheme, which I've been using since I joined with them. Basically you pay for 10 months insurance and you get a year's no claim's bonus at the end of it. Well worth it if you are a young driver and looking to build up no claims, as fast as you can!! I've gone from paying £1200 to £330 a year, fully comprehensive. Few extra pounds in the beer kitty, can't be bad, can it?

I cannot speak highly enough about the customer service offered by Elephant.co.uk. Whenever I have had a problem (which is about twice in 3 years), the person on the other end of the phone has always seemed genuine and like they actually wanted to help solve my problems. This makes a refreshing change when compared to some other companies. To sum up...Elephant.co.uk ROCK! They offer very competitive quotes and they are IDEAL for young drivers. Their website and telephone support is first class. I'm certainly a very happy customer and I intend to stay with them for a very long time! A customer’s quote on Egg Insurance : Egg is a part of Prudential financial services group that aims to offer online insurance products.

Cracking Quotes

Having experienced Insurance Express this year we decided that nothing on earth would make us go back with them, even if it meant having a higher quote off someone else! (They were that bad folks). Started shopping around a month before the insurance was due which was 9th June. We had never bought insurance on-line before. About the same time all the insurance companies (or so it seemed) suddenly realised that Dave's insurance was about to expire and I was bombarded with flyers offering discounted this, that and the other - free no claims stuff - Oh my, gone all faint thinking about it!!! They do go on a bit!

Time was getting short and the leading companies - Direct Line, Churchill, etc. couldn't get a quote low enough that was anything like we had previously paid. Enter the Egg!!! I have accounts with Egg (Savings and Credit Card) and I have been happy with them – in fact egg-static (ok - one lousy joke is allowed). So off to the Egg site we went for a quote. The quote starts off at a really basic level - just to provide some indication. You answer about six questions just to get a general figure. This was not as high as some but was still far too high for us! The next stage was to carry on and create a more detailed quote. The on-line quoting system is easy to follow (so I will spare you the details). Nevertheless, I have to say it was intuitive and well planned. I work as a web programmer so I can safely say it is good and it is secure.

On completing Egg offers you several quotes, the cheapest at the top. The quote that came back was amazing. Then you have the opportunity to nip back in and tailor your quote. In this case, we changed the excess which was at £100 to £250. WOW!!!! The quote was around £20 to £30 lower immediately!!! We now had a very good quote in a short space of time for about £320 for a V Reg Peugoet Meridian... Easy stuff this insurance lark! Paying? Well - as with most on-line companies you can pay on-line using popular credit or debit cards. A few more details were entered and then DONE!!!Two or three days later (before the expiry date), the insurance certificate arrived safely and correctly completed. Absolute heaven compared to previous insurance encounters!!! Nothing else to do - all done - finito!

Now that Egg has proven itself (yet again) as being able to beat other leading insurance companies I think we shall stick with them. Being in control of your quote is a great experience (and also you are more likely to get the facts right than by talking to an operator at the end of a phone).All I can say is give them a try and see what comes back for your quote. There is no commitment...it is safe...but even better - it is so efficient and cheap - nice one Egg!

Mobile Phone Insurance Quotes
A customer’s quote on Punkndoll 2 U
Punkndoll is a U.K. based mobile and equipment insurance company.

About The Best I Could Find

Having spent hours trawling through the search engines, price comparison web sites and consumer reviews I finally came across this strangely named site (on here I think although google has been used so much I may owe them credit). They offer an above average level of cover for sane money without ludicrous excess or bizarre loopholes which would prevent you ever making a claim. The terms and conditions are worded in pretty clear language which even an idiot like me can understand! There are cheaper covers out there but by the time you get through a ludicrous excess or long turn around periods (up to six weeks in some cases) this seemed about the best value. I haven't made a claim with them but if their terms and conditions and testimonials are to be believed and as they are underwritten by the big boys I can't see an issue.

Travel Insurance Quotes
A customer’s quote on Norwich Union
Norwich Union is U.K.’s largest insurance company.

If This Is The Best, Then I Wonder What Worst Will Be!

Hi there everyone, I have an opinion about Norwich union travel insurance. I recently took a holiday to Australia, and need travel insurance for my three week stay, so I shopped around and found at £40 Norwich union was the best. Whilst in Australia I needed some treatment for blocked ears and need my ears siringing (please excuse my spelling), and needed to go to the hospital a+e.  After going there I tried to call Norwich union helpline, from oz, needless to say I got put on hold for like 30 minutes and then i got fed up and hung up, after I returned to the UK, I quickly contacted Norwich union stating i wanted to put in a claim, and they sent me a form quite quick, however I filled it in and posted it back to them, its now been three weeks and I haven’t heard a thing, I phoned them the other day to find out what the hell was going on, and they replied they have had a backlog and mine was near the top of the pile??? :( , seems to me they love taking your money but hate paying out :(, needless to say I m now skint coz I had to pay out 4 doctors and stuff in oz

     

 

     

Health Insurance Quotes

A customer’s quote on BUPA UK
BUPA U.K.  is a private health insurance provider.

Super Bupa

I have been a member of BUPA for many years and, have had to use them a few times. Now I am well aware that many of you will wax lyrical about ethics. You know the stuff - the NHS should be good enough to provide for all and it is unfair that the rich get preferential treatment etc. All good stuff until your company gives it to you for free. Then 90% + of people's ethics are quickly forgotten. At this point all such dreamers will have given up reading this quote and will be moving back to the new Harry Potter book.

Price wise Bupa are certainly not the cheapest. Whilst I don't pay for mine, someone in their mid 30's should expect to pay £50-£60 per month for a decent level of cover. This is quite affordable to middle income people, but as you get older the cost will move against you and once you reach 55+ it may be cheaper to self insure. There are several different schemes designed to suit different pockets. The basic equation is the more you pay the better the cover. There are, however, much cheaper around though (PPP, Standard life to name but 2) but beware - often cheaper premiums means reduced cover and the devil is in the detail i.e. the small print!!

I can't talk too much about the different schemes per se as mine is paid for and I am on the international gold scheme, as I travel a lot with work, but the web site is very clear as to what's available on this choice. I could type for hours just comparing the schemes - much better that you get the basic facts straight from BUPA themselves - it's fairly dry stuff. However the cover is generally excellent. Whenever I have needed treatment (which sadly has been often) I have had who I want and when I want. I have chosen to stay at the BUPA hospital Manchester which seemed very good compared to NHS places I have visited. Specialists will usually see you quickly under BUPA and you don't have to worry about the costs generally. BUPA pay the specialists directly if you ask.

There are some downsides though that the slick marketing and nice website doesn't tell you:-

  1. I had a very bad accident overseas a year ago and needed emergency surgery. I was in estonia. my BUPA covers International. So I phoned them, in agony on the slab (almost) to get clearance for the emergency surgery. BUPA told me that I had left my company scheme and they couldn't help me. It was 8 pm on a Sunday evening, so my HR folk were not going to be much use. To their credit my wimpering must have touched the heart of the phone operator and she agreed to the surgery subject to me still being with my company (which I was - their computer was wrong!!) Still - it was a bit worrying!!
  2. The surgery went wrong. Estonia has a poor health service and they put my bones back in the wrong place. BUPA could have emergency evacuated me. They didn't - they let me take the risk. I should have been air ambulanced to Helsinki but I wasn't. Helsinki was a 20 minute helicopter ride away.
  3. It took 6 months before specialists in the UK properly diagnosed the poor surgery. Nobody could work out why I was in such agony. BUPA could see the specialist bills but wouldn't help find me someone to work out the problem.
  4. Another annoying factor is that it can be hard to get through - their phones are busy.
  5. Also they are slow paying you or your doctors.

All in all this may seem like a negative quote, but I would stick with them. The cover I have is excellent in terms of what it covers. Maybe PPP or Standard Life or one of the others offers a better service - check the reviews there and make up your own mind. For me, despite the problems I have had I will stick with them. Of course, my company pays for mine, but if they didn't, I'd pay for it myself!

Home Insurance Quotes

A customer’s quote on MasterCare
MasterCare is national insurance brokerage firm and has been in the business for the last two decades.

MasterCare? Don't know where that name came from!!
I purchased a notebook computer from PC world around two years ago. It was a patriot computer and top of the range at that time. Because I was getting it as a tool for university study, my parents talked me into purchasing the (VERY) expensive 5 year warranty for not much less than £500 to protect the computer right through my studies. The company covers most entertainment products and is used by Dixons, Comet, Currys and PC World to maim (lol) but a few. I was taken by the ease of application for this insurance, and also for the apparent efficiency that I was assured of by the salesman.

     

 

     

Within 2 months of purchasing the laptop, I began to notice the power supply getting hot a lot of the time, and within a couple of weeks, the wire between the transformer unit and the laptop had actually melted leaving bare wire showing. I called Mastercare, who, after 25 minutes of having to wait for an advisor on a mobile calling an (0845) number, told me not to worry, and this simple problem would be solved within one or two days. I made them aware of the fact that the pc held a lot of important documents as far as college work goes (about 8 assignments for separate units) and was assured that nothing would need to be wiped and there was no need for me to backup. I did anyway as I am always overcautious about these things.

The first available pickup point was in 3 days time (called on Monday - Pickup on Thursday) which could have been faster, but it wasn’t really that much of a priority so I didn't mind all too much, and I felt assured that I would probably receive my notebook fully repaired by the following Monday, or Tuesday at the latest. It didn't turn up until the following Thursday! I sent the laptop off in good faith that my data wouldn’t be erased, but guess what, its lucky that I am that bit over cautious! Even though I had I nice new power supply, a spanking new format flashed its ugly rear at me as I started up my computer, meaning I had to re-install all my programs, drivers, and restore all of my documents.

So that was headache number one, but I thought I'd just give them the benefit of the doubt (though even my 5 year old sister could have worked out from looking that the computer's fault was only a melted wire!) and so I plodded on with my studies. A couple more months pushed by and I found another fault with my power supply. The end which plugs into the notebook fell right off. No strain, no man-handling, it just fell right off! So of course I waited another 30 minutes on hold to speak to an advisor. This time, I needed them to send me out a copy of my careplan as I had completely lost it and I was assured it would arrive within 28 days, and they booked my laptop to be picked up again.

Called on Thursday, Pickup on Tuesday, which I thought was a bit crazy, but there was nothing they could do. I finally got it back the following Monday, after calling the helpful *cough* people at mastercare at least 3 times, but once again it had been completely reformatted. This time I lost everything because I didn’t have a power supply to feed my dead-as-a-dodo battery so I couldn't reformat it. 10 GB of home recorded flute music and family photos and videos down the drain! I was not amused. The most recent annoyance with this thing is that I sent the laptop off on Monday October 17th 2005. All that was wrong is that the power button had gone into the machine. I would take the thing apart myself, but I wouldn't want to invalidate the warranty.

I hadn't heard anything the following Friday, so I called them and they told me that the laptop was on its way back to me, unfixed! I asked why, and apparently the person who booked it in sent it to the wrong workshop. Because of the way their systems work, they needed to send it back to me (so I would have needed to take a day off work again) and as soon as it arrived I needed to call the service call department so they could book it back in and then I could send it back with the same courier.

At which point I told them exactly what I thought and that I wouldn’t even be in to sign for it as I couldn't afford to lose another day’s wages. After great deliberation, I managed to get the operator to automatically redirect it. So then It hadn't arrived by Monday 31st October, so I called them again to find out what they were playing at, and they said it arrived in the correct workshop on the Thursday, but I wouldnt be able to find out anything at all until Wednesday 2nd November because after they haven’t heard anything for a week, they're allowed to request information.

So I'm stuck with no laptop, and when it arrives I'll probably need to send it off again, and a rubbish

warranty which I paid £400 for and I may as well have just bought a second computer.
Happy Readings xx

 
 
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